“Hey.”

Tim paused mid-punch, looked over his shoulder, and stopped breathing.  There in the narrow entryway he stood, alive and well and as beautiful as ever.  The boy’s whose absence had so greatly affected Tim, the boy who’s death had changed him forever.  Tim never quite recovered.  He, himself, would never have admitted it out loud, but he knew it.   

The tight blue jeans, the even tighter black shirt, both enhancing the powerful muscle underneath.  The jet-black hair, those blue eyes, and that playful smile…  All in perfect place, all like Tim used to hallucinate on a regular basis.

He closed his eyes hoping that when he looked towards the entryway once again, it would be empty because he couldn’t start with this again.  The period after Kon’s death had been difficult.  Tim was sure he was going crazy because he used to hallucinate often.  He would “see” Kon return.  See him stroll into a room — like he was doing now — as though he had never left. 

The first few times, Tim’s elation could not be contained and he would run to hug empty space.

He didn’t need to be a therapist to know why it was happening and why it was unhealthy.  So, he tried to stop.  He ignored any and all hallucinations.  He tried to pretend he didn’t feel the painful ache coming from the still raw wound where his heart had been ripped out.  He tried to pretend the gaping hole in his chest that threatened to devour him like a black hole would an entire solar system didn’t exist.  It wasn’t easy, but he had done it. 

This time was no different.  Tim could get past it.  He took a deep breath and punched the bag again.  And again.

“Dude, you mad at me?”

He punched the bag one last time and reluctantly turned his gaze towards the boy who walked past the entrance and stopped only a few feet away from him. 

Tim sucked in a breath.  This Kon looked so real.  Hard and soft and solid, like he was actually standing there in front of him.

“No, I’m not mad,” Tim lied, knowing that if actually talking to his hallucination wasn’t bad enough, lying to it certainly was. 

He was mad at his best friend for having left him behind like everyone else had.  He was mad at him for making breathing a little harder every time he allowed himself to think of the sound of his laughter or the way he ran his hand through his hair when he was nervous.  All those little things that kept him awake late at night.  Even now, when Kon looked more real than he ever had, it took all of Tim’s control not to give in to the madness and try to wrap his arms around him at least once.

“Rob, it’s me,” Kon whispered.

“Of course it is,” Tim chuckled humorlessly, “Why wouldn’t it be?  It’s what happens every Wednesday, dead friends return…” he trailed off and turned to punch the bag again because enough was enough.  He was stronger than this.

But what if…if he allowed himself a little indulgence, who would it hurt?

Tim could feel Kon getting closer.  He imagined he could feel the warmth radiating from Kon’s body.  He shut his eyes again and inhaled deeply.  God, it even smelled like him. 

There was the pleasant weight of a hand on his shoulder and Tim couldn’t fight it anymore.

“Kon…” he whispered, feeling foolish for letting months of restraint slip away so easily.

He wasn’t sure if he imagined the gentle grip of a hand on his hip.  He didn’t know what was real and what was not.

“Kon,” he whispered again in surrender.  Maybe it wasn’t a hallucination at all, but a wonderful dream…

“I’m back,” Kon said, his voice unusually soft.

Tim took another deep breath, letting those hands he remembered so clearly, hands that never touched him so intimately before, move up and down his arms then under his shirt along his abs.  Tim whimpered, not wanting the moment to end, but knowing it would.  It was inevitable. 

But it all felt so real… 

He turned around towards Kon then.  Tried to memorize his face.  Tried to sear every detail about him into his mind.  Who knew how much time he had before his senses returned, when the dream would end, and Kon would disappear.  Tim reached up to touch him, but stopped himself, his fingertips only millimeters away. 

It would end now.  It could prove Kon was not actually there.   Still, his fingers itched to close the distance, to touch him, to feel him.  Except, Tim knew the instant it happened — when he reached out and felt nothing — it would be over.  He would be standing all by himself in the cave.

“Just leave me alone,” Tim begged, his arm falling down to his side.  Maybe if he asked nicely his subconscious might give him a moment’s peace.

“I know I let you down,” Kon apologized. 

Tim’s hands turned to fists and he fought back tears.  His mind was obviously intent on torturing him in every way possible because Kon was wrong.  If anyone had failed, it had been himself.

“But that’s why I fought my way back…” Kon continued, “I didn’t want to leave you… or the team…”

Tim looked up at Kon, searched his eyes.  Something suddenly dawned on him.  Who cared if this was a hallucination or a dream or any other number of unhealthy possibilities, Kon was standing in front of him.  Kon was looking at him with an expression he was sure mirrored his own. 

Desire. 

Lust.

Love.

Tim reached for him.  Touched hair so soft.  Skin so smooth.  Even if he was insane and this wasn’t real, it felt right. 

Kon’s lips curled up into that irresistible smirk and Tim kissed him.

…

The kiss was soft and wet and better than anything he ever felt before.  Tim tore off the tape he used to wrap his hands and held on to Kon so hard he was sure that without the Kryptonian DNA, it would hurt.  But, he had to hold on tight.  If he didn’t, Kon might simply slip away.

The kiss grew urgent, then slowed to something sweet.  Somehow they were lying down on the mat, their legs tangled together, when they finally broke apart.  Tim watched him with half-lidded eyes as they both tried to catch their breath. 

Kon was grinning though.  His lips were swollen and his blue eyes were bright, “Man, if I knew this is how you were going to react, I woulda come back sooner.”

“Could you have?” Tim asked in an instant.  He knew he shouldn’t waste time talking and should get back to kissing Kon as soon as he got a new batch of fresh air in his lungs, but nothing about their lying side by side on the training mat made sense.

“I’m not sure,” Kon shrugged.  He sat up.

Tim sat up, too.  He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.  He didn’t look at Kon as he asked, “This isn’t… I’m not dreaming, am I?”

In the periphery of his vision, Tim could see Kon’s grin grow larger, “You dream a lot about me — us — like this?”

Tim glared and would have blushed, except he kept trying to remind himself Kon had not pushed him away once.  In fact, Kon had initiated the contact and held on as tightly, kissed as urgently as Tim had.  And the thing he said after their kiss ended, it wasn’t something someone would say who didn’t like it, right?  Besides, had he not promised himself he would say all the things he didn’t have the courage or the time to say while his best friend lived?  Didn’t he promise himself to do all the things he never could bring himself to do if given a second chance?

He watched as Kon ran his fingers through his hair and waited.

Blue eyes met and Tim’s lips quirked into a small smile, “Yeah.  I do.”

…

Kon kissed him.  Kon kissed him. 

Every time Tim imagined, dreamt, whatever the case was, he was always the one throwing himself at Kon.  He couldn’t imagine Kon feeling the same way.  Not really.  But Kon was kissing him now.  He was lying on top of him, grinding his hips into his, moaning his name.

“Wait.”

Tim pushed him off.  He was panting and trying not to draw attention to bulge in his shorts. 

“Too fast?”

“No,” Tim shook his head, “Maybe.”  He was still trying to wrap his head around Kon actually being there.  Back.  Alive.  And now, this. 

Tim stood up, “We shouldn’t do this here.”

“Yeah,” Kon looked around, “Those bats might try something.”

“Or,” Tim picked up the discarded tape, “Someone might see us.”

“So,” Kon grinned, “This mean we’re going up to your room?”

…

The walk up had been quiet.  Kon entered and Tim  followed, locking the door to his room behind him.  He considered the best way to approach the subject.  He didn’t want to question…this.  He had been waiting for so long, but knew he couldn’t go further until he knew.

Suddenly, with a thud he was pressed up against the door.  Before Tim had a chance to open his mouth to speak, Kon’s tongue was already inside. Powerful hands were on him, gentle, demanding, touching everything all at once. 

Tim’s shirt flew off and Kon trailed kisses along a bare shoulder as he worked on removing Tim’s shorts next.  When the shorts were pooled at their feet, Kon slipped a hand under the waistband of Tim’s boxer-briefs.  Grinning, Kon wrapped his hand around him.  Tim shuddered and threw his head back, slamming it against the door.

“You okay?” Kon asked the worry evident in his voice.

“Yeah,” Tim gave him sheepish smile, more embarrassed than anything else.  He glanced towards his bed, “Maybe we should…”

Kon flew them over to the bed.

…

Tim was nearly overwhelmed by all the startling new sensations, but he forced himself from giving in to them too soon.  He knew he would never forget the way Kon’s tongue swirl around him or the way his hands moved up and down along his length, but Tim wanted to remember exactly how it was done so he could return the favor because he wanted to know what Kon tasted like… What wrapping his mouth around Kon would be like…  What having Kon inside him would feel like…

“This…isn’t…fair…” Tim whispered in between kisses.  He was surprised he was actually able to form words amid Kon’s ministrations.

Kon pulled away, but his hands continued exploring, “What?”

“I’m the only one not wearing clothes.”

Kon smirked, “That’s not a problem.”  In the blink of an eye, he was nude and kissing Tim again. “Better?”

“Much.”

…

Tim bit his lip, stifling a moan.  His back slid against Kon’s chest.  Kon’s hands held on to his hips, then, tightened around Tim pulling him back as Kon continued to thrust into him.  One hand slid down to take Tim again, stroking in time with each thrust.

Tim couldn’t think of a better first time as he was coaxed into release.  He was floating, feeling light-headed and more relaxed than he thought possible.  Soft lips caressed and kissed his back and shoulders.

“You still mad at me?” Kon asked, returning to their unfinished conversation.

Tim couldn’t look away from the mess he made on his sheets, “I told you I wasn’t,” he replied.

“But you were lying,” Kon insisted.  He held on to Tim as tight as it was safe to and trailed kisses along a few scars on his back as he eased out of him.

Tim took his time flipping over to face him so that both their heads shared one pillow.  The need to simply wrap his arms around Kon and ignore the impossibility of what just happened was almost too strong to withstand, but Tim had to know.

“How did you get into the cave?”

Ethereal blue eyes twinkled and Kon smiled at him, “Didn’t think I could, did you?”

“Kon.”

“Fine,” Kon rolled his eyes, “You’re butler let me in.”

“Alfred just let you in?” Tim asked, eyes narrowing.

Kon buried his head into the pillow, “Batman called him.  Said it was okay for me—”

Tim sat up.

“Batman knows you’re back?”

Kon stretched lazily enjoying the surprised look on Tim’s face.  He turned over onto his back, cupped his hands behind his head, and stared up at Tim’s ceiling.

“I went to him,” he admitted.

Tim’s eyes went wide for a second, “Why?”

Kon shrugged.

“I figured he would know if I wasn’t…myself.”

Tim was quiet.

Kon continued without prodding, “I knew who was the first person I wanted to see, but I kept thinking of all these movies, you know, where those clones don’t know—”

“Kon…” Tim interrupted.

“It’s cool, Rob,” Kon gave him a half-smile.  His hand reached for Tim’s.  “I was trying to be responsible.  For once.  I didn’t want to risk someone who wasn’t me coming to see you.”

Tim looked down at their fingers intertwined together then over to meet Kon’s gaze.

“Thanks,” Tim said.

“‘Course,” Kon grinned, “I wasn’t going to let another bad thing happen you.”

Tim shook his head, “Thanks for coming back.”